AM I A HYPOCRITE?
5 10 2008
Last month, I happened to be at a friend’s house when he was cleaning his koi pond. To be specifically, he was pulling out dead water lilies’ leaves when I arrived. As he doing that, he scooped unintentionally some tiny mosquito fish along with brownish leaves to a garden bucket. When he finished, he left to do more yard work in the front. I was going to feed the koi, and as I bent down, I saw those little black adult and baby mosquito fish struggling desperately for water. For a moment, I realized the adult ones were pregnant. Without hesitating, I picked one by one and released them back to the pond. Some of them were buried deep beneath pile of dead leaves that by the time I reached to them, they were lifeless in my hand. The last one was a pregnant mother.
Later, I told my friend about it. He laughed it off. He found my little rescuing act amusing, “Those miniature fish? Mosquito Control Center would gladly give you hundreds of them with no cost at all. Come on, they are insignificant!” My face turned red as I could not let him walked away without any idea what those poor fish went thru. I lectured him on having compassion for all creatures on earth, especially the pregnant ones. I asked him to think about pregnant ladies and how cautiously people treat them. Why not with fish? After a long talk he seemed to acquire the idea. Then, I vowed from now on I would never eat fish again.
Days later, I found myself stressed out with food. Seafood, mostly fish, is my main source of protein as I don’t eat much meat or dairy products. Besides, I was not ready to become a vegetarian yet. After trying not having fish for five days, I gave in on a bright September afternoon. Making myself a tuna sandwich on that afternoon only satisfied my fish craving body for couple of hours but disgruntled my soul terribly for a long time.
Am I a hypocrite? My sympathy to those poor pregnant fish is not powerful enough that I broke my vow without much difficulty. I felt so awful when thought about how I accused my friend of being callous. In life, how many times had I drawn a conclusion based on a convenient fact? Is that so effortless to hear or read about ethical issues and jump right in a rigid criticism? Those questions spinning in my head as I realized that I should dig deeper to any issue before passing judgment.
[1] Mosquito fish: any of three North American live-bearers (Gambusia affinis, G. holbrooki, and Heterandria formosa of the family Poeciliidae) used especially to control mosquito larvae (Merriam Webster dictionary)
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